By order of the Supreme Overlord of Bureaucracy, we are pleased to present this report on the Cape-Gate scandal.
The Cape-Gate scandal involves the alleged misuse of capes by certain individuals within the city. While the full extent of the scandal is still under investigation, preliminary findings suggest that several dozen capes have been mishandled.
Key findings include:
Further investigation has revealed that certain individuals within the city have been using improper folding techniques, resulting in a plethora of unsightly folds.
Our team has discovered that the city's current hanging protocol has resulted in a staggering 300% increase in cape-related injuries.
Our investigation has uncovered evidence of widespread tucking, with some individuals reportedly tucking their capes up to 5 times per minute.
While the full extent of the scandal remains to be seen, our team remains committed to uncovering the truth behind Cape-Gate.
We will provide further updates as more information becomes available.
A list of key terms and definitions: