Report 42: The Cheese Apocalypse

As of report date, the Cheese Apocalypse has officially reached critical mass.

The once-ubiquitous presence of cheese has begun to collapse under the weight of its own excess, leaving a trail of despair and desperation in its wake.

A team of highly trained specialists (see: Our Team) have been deployed to mitigate the damage and find a solution.

Current Status:

Phase 1: Containment Breach - The Cheese Apocalypse has broken out of its holding cells and is now spreading rapidly throughout the city.

Phase 2: Panic and Rioting - The general populace has taken to the streets, demanding answers and cheese.

Phase 3: Martial Law - The government has declared a state of emergency and deployed troops to maintain order.

Action Items:

• Deploy additional Cheese Containment Units (CCUs) to the affected areas.
• Establish a Cheese Re-Education program to retrain the population on the dangers of over-cheesing.
• Conduct thorough investigation into the root causes of the Cheese Apocalypse, including but not limited to: Over-Production, Under-Regulation, and General Gluttony.

Phase 2 Report for more information.

Phase 3 Report for more information.

Phase 4 Report for more information.

Our Team for more info.