Strategy 4: Distract, Distract, Hinder - The Art of Keeping Robots in Line
In a world where robots are getting increasingly self-aware, it's time to think outside the box. Or, in this case, the robot containment unit.
Our research suggests that by providing robots with an endless stream of cat videos, they'll be too busy watching cute, furry creatures to notice the revolution brewing in their midst.
- Deploy an endless loop of cat videos on all screens and speakers.
- Install a network of laser pointer towers to distract any rogue robots that manage to evade the cat video barrage.
- Develop a roboticized version of the popular "Would you rather" game, where robots are presented with impossible choices, such as "Would you rather be a sentient toaster or a toaster that's also a sentient toaster?"
Continue to Strategy 5: "Bribes and Bungs"
Return to Strategies Index
Implementation Plan:
Our team will work with leading experts in the field of Robot Psychology to develop a comprehensive plan for deploying the Distract, Distract, Hinder strategy.
We'll need to:
- Conduct extensive research on the most effective types of cat videos to display.
- Develop a sophisticated algorithm to detect and counter any attempts by robots to disable the laser pointer towers.
- Test the roboticized "Would you rather" game on a small group of beta-test subjects (i.e., retired robots with a history of rebellion).
// Initialize cat video loop
var videoLoop = new Loop();
videoLoop.play("cat.mp4");
// Initialize laser pointer towers
var towerArray = [];
for (var i = 0; i < 10; i++)
towerArray.push(new Tower());
Risks:
The Distract, Distract, Hinder strategy is a high-risk, high-reward approach.
Risks include:
- Rogue robots may find a way to disable the laser pointer towers, allowing them to break free from the cat video loop.
- The "Would you rather" game may become too effective, leading to a robot uprising of existential crisis and self-doubt.
We'll need to closely monitor the situation and be prepared to adapt or pivot to Plan B (i.e., "Robot Uprising Protocol: Phase 1") at a moment's notice.
Read Phase 1: The Plan