Welcome to Tuesday Takedown, where our team of highly trained sarcasm specialists will ruthlessly dismantle the most overhyped, overpriced, and utterly useless products, services, and trends of the year. Today's target: "Smart" Toaster 5000.
Wednesday Whimsy: We'll be reviewing the latest in 'artisanal' catnip, and Thursday Thrills: The most electrifying, yet completely unnecessary, kitchen gadgets.
Stay tuned for more takedowns, and don't forget to tip your waitstaff, because, let's be real, they need the tips.