Welcome, Agent, to the world of Secure Locations. A place where the coffee flows like water and the meetings never end. But don't get too comfortable, we have rules.
Rule 1: No talking about the meaning of life during meetings. We're here to make decisions, not find the answer to the ultimate question.
Rule 2: All meetings will be held in the conference room with the broken air conditioner. It's a matter of national security, don't ask questions.
Rule 3: No side conversations during meetings. If you must talk, talk to the person who asked the question. Don't make us all listen to you and your cousin's cousin's cousin's story about the time you went to the dentist.
Rule 4: The coffee machine is not a social tool. It's a machine designed to fuel our productivity, not a conversation starter. Don't make eye contact with it.
Rule 5: If you must take a phone call during a meeting, please do so in the corner, away from the rest of us. We're trying to make decisions here, not win an Oscar.