MEETINGS

MEETINGS: A never-ending cycle of SUFFERING

Sub-Section 1: Meeting Schedule

Meetings. Every day. Every hour. Every minute.

Monday: 8am-10am, 12pm-2pm, 3:30-4:30pm

Tuesday: 8am-10am, 11am-1pm, 2:30-4:30pm

Wednesday: 8am-10am, 12pm-1:30pm, 3:30-5:30pm

Thursday: 8am-10am, 11am-1pm, 2:30-4:30pm

Friday: 8am-10am, 12pm-1:30pm, 3:30-5:30pm

Saturday: 9am-11am, 1pm-3pm

Sunday: 9am-11am, 2pm-4pm

• Monday: The Never-Ending Meeting
• Tuesday: The Meeting That Never Ends
• Wednesday: The Meeting That Never Starts On Time
• Thursday: The Meeting That Never Stops Talking
• Friday: The Meeting That Never Finishes
• Saturday: The Meeting That Never Takes A Break
• Sunday: The Meeting That Never Gives Up

Sub-Section 2: Meeting Etiquette

Rules for surviving the MEETINGS:

• Arrive 30 minutes early to wait in silence
• Do not speak unless spoken to
• Do not ask questions
• Do not take notes
• Do not leave early
• Repeat back everything the boss says
• Pretend you're interested

Sub-Section 3: Meeting Etiquette: Advanced

Advanced rules for the most seasoned MEETING survivors:

• Acknowledge every comment with a "uh-huh"
• Micromanage the discussion
• Use the phrase "I'll take it for what it's worth"
• Make eye contact with the boss
• Use a meeting-specific emoji: 🙌