SOCK PUPPET UNION CAUCUS

Sock Quality Initiative

The Sock Puppet Union (SPU) proudly presents the Sock Quality Initiative, a comprehensive report on the most egregious sock-related issues facing our members.

Our findings:

Sock Elasticity Index (SEI): 4.2/10 (average elasticity: 2.5/10)

Toe-to-Heel Discrepancy (THD): 3.5/10 (average toe-to-heel distance: 1.8cm)

Recommendations:

We recommend that all members wear socks with reinforced toe boxes for optimal comfort and reduced toe-to-heel disrepancy. We also suggest a minimum of 3 inches of stretch for all socks to ensure maximum elasticity.

For more information, please visit our Sock Reform Committee

Or, for a more in-depth analysis, visit our Sock Data Repository

Or, for a satirical look at our findings, visit our Sock Tongue-In-Cheek