We have gathered here today in the face of certain doom to decide the fate of the world's supply of blueberries. It has been brought to our attention that blueberries are, in fact, the new water.
The evidence is clear: they are 70% water, just like regular water! But, of course, this is not just about the facts. It's about the taste, the texture, the Instagram potential.
We have before us three options for the future of blueberries:
Option 1: Make blueberries the official drink of the world
Option 2: Use blueberries as a substitute for all existing beverages
Option 3: Declare blueberries the new standard unit of measurement for all things