Emergency Meeting Minutes - Secret Notes

This is a highly classified, not-for-publication summary of our clandestine discussion.

Confidential Notes from the Floor

Item 1: "Infiltrate the coffee machine with tiny cameras to monitor the CEO's caffeine intake."
Item 2: "Replace all the fluorescent lights with UV-emitting black lights to reduce employee productivity."
Item 3: "Create a secret society within the company that worships the almighty spreadsheet."
Item 4: "Develop an app that tracks employee bathroom breaks to optimize the use of toilet paper."

Please note that these suggestions are completely unrelated to the real meeting minutes and are only for entertainment purposes.