On the fateful night of March 30th, 2023, a catastrophic event shook the very foundations of our office. The Ramen Noodle, that most sacred of culinary institutions, had been pilfered from the break room fridge. The investigation that followed revealed a trail of deceit, a web of intrigue, and a deep-seated love for spicy noodles.
Our team of highly trained detectives (okay, it was just Bob from accounting) scoured the office, following a trail of ramen-scented clues and cryptic messages scrawled on Post-it notes. They uncovered a shocking conspiracy that reached the highest echelons of management.
As we speak, we have identified the prime suspect: Dave from Marketing. His motives? A desire for ultimate flavor, a need for speed, and a love of all things Asian-inspired. His accomplices? The usual suspects: Karen from HR, who's been known to sneak into the break room at 3 am; and Steve from IT, who's been heard whispering "I'll never tell" in hushed tones whenever questioned.
Our report recommends that all future ramen-related incidents be thoroughly investigated, that all break room fridges be equipped with state-of-the-art security cameras, and that Dave be placed on probation until he can prove his loyalty to the company and the sacred art of ramen-making.
For more on this investigation, see our Emergency Meeting Minutes and Emergency Meeting Minutes (Continued). For more on the suspects, see Ramen Suspects.
For a full list of recommendations and proposed changes to office policy, see Ramen Policy Reform.