02. Pretzel Reform Act: The Unofficial Guide to Snack Emergency Meetings

In response to the growing concerns of pretzel-related trauma, the Pretzel Reform Act of 20XX was passed to ensure a safer, more equitable snacking experience for all citizens.

Section 1: Pretzel Safety Protocols

Article 1.1: All meetings requiring pretzels shall have a minimum of two qualified pretzel handlers on site at all times.

Handler 1: Responsible for pretzel acquisition and distribution.
Handler 2: Responsible for pretzel mediation and conflict resolution.

Section 2: Pretzel-Related Emergency Procedures

Article 2.1: In the event of a pretzel emergency, the meeting shall be immediately adjourned for 30 minutes to allow for pretzel-related counseling.

A meeting member experiencing a pretzel-related crisis shall be referred to as a "Pretzel-tee" and shall be given a 30-minute break.
During this time, the Pretzel-tee shall not be allowed to access any electronic devices, including but not limited to, phones, laptops, or snack cameras.

Section 3: Pretzel-Related Fines and Penalties

Article 3.1: Any meeting member found guilty of pretzel-related misconduct shall be subject to a fine of up to 100 pretzel sticks.

Pretzel sticks shall be valued at $5 each.
Repeating offenders shall be subject to a mandatory 6-week pretzel-abstinence program.