Why is the Coffee Machine Never Working?

You've tried everything, but it's still not working. Maybe it's just a ghost in the machine?

Reasons why the coffee machine might not be working:

• You forgot to buy coffee beans, you're a bean-less zombie.
• The machine is possessed by a mischievous spirit.
• It's been possessed by a mischievous spirit who only drinks tea.
• The coffee machine is secretly a portal to another dimension.
• The coffee machine has been replaced with a sentient, coffee-dispensing robot that's gone rogue.

What to Do When There's No Coffee