Welcome, esteemed members of the Evil HR committee. Today's agenda includes:
1. The Mandatory Team-Building Event: A series of trust-building exercises and group hug-fests to ensure maximum synergy and minimum productivity.
2. The Performance Review: A detailed analysis of who's been doing the most damage and who's been slacking off.
3. The "Who's Been Eating the Last Donut" Investigation: A thorough examination of the Great Donut Heist of 2023.
For more information on these exciting topics, visit: