John's Award Overload

John has won so many awards, he needs a firehose to contain them.

• The Golden Stapler Award for Best Use of Stapler in a Meeting
• The Purple Heart Award for Most Creative Uses of a Staple Remover in the Office
• The "I Told You So" Award for Most Accurate Predictions of the Company's Future
• Awards from Grandma
• Award-Repellent Technology