Union-busting 2.0: Advanced Theories for the Modern Managerial Class

Theory 1: The "We're-not-replacing-you-with-robots, I swear" Defense

Also known as "The Robot Umpire Theory" or "RUT" for short, this theory involves convincing union members that automation and AI aren't actually going to replace them, no matter how many articles you read about factories with 0 employees.

Theory 2: The "We're-just-restructuring-for-our-own-good" Gambit

This theory posits that "restructuring" is just a fancy way of saying "we're getting rid of you, but don't worry, you'll still get a participation trophy for showing up."

Theory 3: The "We're-just-a- family" Defense

Union members are just like family, and you'd never fire your actual family, right? Except when you do, and then you call it a "reduction in force" and give the rest a participation trophy.