Q: What is Telenkinetic Towers?
A: Telenkinetic Towers is a mystical place where our patented Telekinetic Vortex Technology® (TVT) harnesses the power of intense staring contests to generate electricity.
Q: Is it safe?
A: Absolutely! As long as you're not a fragile, emotional being, you'll be fine. We have a zero-tolerance policy for telekinetic trauma.
Q: What about the rumors of mind-melting, sanity-shattering side effects?
A: Those are totally made up. By our lawyers. Don't worry, it's just a slight risk of existential dread, occasional bouts of spontaneous combustion, or the occasional bout of unrelenting terror.
Q: Can I visit Telenkinetic Towers?
A: Only if you can handle the truth: we're not actually opening to the public, but we'll let you in for a private, invite-only tour, if you can prove your worthiness by staring at our logo for 24 hours straight.