Insomnia Treatment Plan

For those who can't sleep, but also can't afford sleep.

Step 1: Take a 4am walk in 3-inch heels. (Recommended for those who enjoy self-inflicted pain)

Caffeine withdrawal: because 1 cup of coffee is not enough

Overdose of Paracetamol: Because you can never have too much painkiller

Brain implant: because who needs a functioning brain?

Step 2: Watch reruns of 'The Price is Right' on repeat. (Side effects: loss of all sense of time, and/or sanity)

Step 3: Learn to meditate, but only while simultaneously scrolling through your phone. (Side effects: increased screen time, decreased productivity)

Step 4: Call an exorcist. (Because, you know, demons)