We, the undersigned, do solemnly declare that the following terms and conditions are so obscure and convoluted that you'll never actually read them.
Article 1: We reserve the right to change our minds, at any time, without warning, and with or without reason.
Article 2: Any attempt to read this contract in its entirety will be met with resistance and/or a sternly worded letter.
Article 3: You will not be able to understand any of this.
See also: All Appendices