Occultist's Guide to Bunker Cooking: Bunker Stew Recipe
When the prophets are wrong and the apocalypse is nigh, there's no better meal to warm the cockles of your heart than Bunker Stew.
Ingredients:
- 1 can of canned beans, preferably with a hint of desperation
- 1 can of canned veggies, preferably with a dash of doomsday
- 1 packet of instant noodles, for the sake of instant gratification
- 1 cup of water, drawn from a nearby well or a firehose
- 1 pinch of salt, harvested from a mysterious, ancient ritual
- 1 dash of hope, optional but recommended
Instructions:
- Combine the canned beans, veggies, and noodles in a large, makeshift pot.
- Add the water and salt, stirring counterclockwise to avoid the wrath of the gods.
- Add a dash of hope, if you're feeling optimistic, but let's be real, we're all gonna need a miracle.
- Cook over an open flame, stirring occasionally to prevent a catastrophic boilover.
- Serve hot, garnished with a sprinkle of apocalyptic dust and a side of existential dread.
Enjoy your Bunker Stew, for it will be one of the last meals you ever eat.
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