Why I'm Stuck Renting a Studio in My Aunt's Basement

I'm not made of money, okay? My trust fund is, uh, "invested" in ramen noodles and old couches. But seriously, here's why:

1. I spent all my savings on a rare collectible toaster

1. It was a really nice toaster, okay?
2. It's now worth triple what I paid for it, I swear

2. I have a "sophisticated" spreadsheet that proves I'm on the verge of becoming a millionaire

1. It's got fancy formulas and everything
2. It's totally not just a bunch of scribbles on a piece of notebook paper

3. I'm just waiting for the next big thing, like a revolution in toilet paper!

I mean, who needs a real apartment when you can have a convertible?

(Just don't tell my aunt. She thinks I'm just lazy)