Summary:
The coffee machine, affectionately known as "Brewzilla," malfunctioned at 8:04 AM this morning, spewing forth a torrent of scalding coffee into the break room.
Incident Timeline:
- 8:04 AM: Coffee machine erupts, flooding the break room
- 8:05 AM: Employees evacuate break room, some seeking medical attention
- 8:10 AM: IT attempts to shut off machine, succeeds, but not before it dispenses another 3 cups of coffee