Meeting Techniques

Because who needs actual work, anyway?

Here are the meeting techniques that will drive you mad:

Warning: Prolonged use of these techniques may lead to permanent brain damage.

Techniques Description Side Effects
Parabolic Rambling Talking for an inordinate amount of time, while saying little to nothing of substance. May lead to:
  • Exasperated team members
  • Spontaneous human combustion
Buzzword Bingo Marking words like "synergy" and "disrupt" on a bingo card, and calling them out in meetings. May lead to:
  • Increased use of corporate jargon
  • Accidental use of actual meaning
Meeting Slam Reading out loud from a PowerPoint presentation, while maintaining an air of importance. May lead to:
  • Eye strain
  • Temporary blindness
Minute-to-Minute Chaos Interrupting each other, while simultaneously talking over each other. May lead to:
  • Perpetual motion sickness
  • Uncontrollable screaming

Meeting Minutes

Here are the minutes from our last meeting, because who needs actual work, anyway?

Agenda Item 1: Discuss the meaning of life

Action Item 1: Table of contents

Agenda Item 2: Debate the merits of pineapple on pizza

Action Item 2: Write a strongly worded letter to the pizza place

See the full list of meeting techniques