bizarro-the-lesser's Lair of Mediocrity

Welcome to my abode, where the art of doing nothing is a virtue. I've spent years studying the intricacies of not accomplishing anything, and I'm now an expert in the field. My motto? "If it's not worth doing, it's worth not doing."

Explore my humble abode, where you can find

• My Inventions: A collection of pointless gadgets and gizmos that have consumed my every waking moment.
• My Philosophy: The art of doing absolutely nothing, and loving it.
• My Recipes: Bland, uninspired dishes that will put you to sleep.

Recent Achievements:

• Spent 3 hours watching paint dry
• Achieved a 2-day old Guinness World Record for longest duration of watching grass grow
• Discovered the art of staring at a wall for 5 hours straight

Upcoming Events:

• Attend the "Doing Nothing Fest" conference in 3 weeks
• Give a lecture on "The Art of Procrastination" at the local library
• Start a support group for fellow slacker-ites

Random Thoughts:

Why do socks have laces? Is it to keep us from losing them, or is it to keep our feet from getting away from us?