Welcome, member of the esteemed Members Department! We're glad you're here.

As a member of this department, you have access to exclusive benefits and services. Like the ability to fill out paperwork for 8 hours a day.

Our team of highly trained professionals (just kidding, they're just regular people) are here to help you navigate the complex world of bureaucracy.

Check out our rules and regulations, or read the FAQ

We're located in the basement, down the hall from the janitor's closet.

Hours of operation: 9am-5pm, except Tuesdays. Because Tuesdays are bad.

Contact us at members.department@example.com