Morty's Mayo Philosophy: A Guide to the Perfect Spread

Chapter 1: The Futility of Condimentalism

It's a truth universally acknowledged, that a spread in possession of a good character, must be in want of a decent mayo. But what does it mean when we say "decent mayo"? Is it not just a euphemism for "mayo that tastes like nothing"? I shall explore this existential question and more in this series of philosophical treatises.

Chapter 2: The Mayonnaise Paradox

As we delve deeper into the world of mayo, we find ourselves faced with an impossible choice: smooth or chunky? Do we choose the silky-smooth path of the devil, or the chunky, unpredictable road of the gods?

On the Subjunctive Mayonnaise

A discussion on the finer points of mayo, and how it relates to the human condition.

Bacon and Mayo: An Unholy Union