Cooking Recipes for the Clumsily Gifted: Food Poisoning 101

Step 2: The Art of Not Washing Your Hands

When cooking, it's all about finesse, not hygiene. You don't want to wash your hands too much, or you'll lose that delicate balance of bacteria and flavors. Here are some expert tips to keep your hands as dirty as possible:

• Don't bother with soap and water. It's just a waste of time.
• Use a dirty sponge, it's like a magic eraser for your hands.
• Wipe your hands on your pants. It's like nature's own hand sanitizer.

Next step: Step 3: The Joy of Reheating Last Night's Leftovers