Thermal Roasting Techniques

Warning: Steve's Cooking May Be Hazardous to Your Health (and Your Taste Buds)

Steve's Guide to Thermal Roasting Techniques: because who needs a social life, anyway?

Step 1: Set Your Expectations Low, Like Steve's Self-Esteem

Preheat your oven to exactly 475 degrees Fahrenheit. Don't bother checking the temperature, just wing it.

Step 2: Add a Pinch of Despair

Throw your ingredients in the oven with a healthy dose of apathy. This is crucial for achieving that perfect "I-give-up-on-life" flavor.

Step 3: Add a Dash of Rage

Bang your pots and pans around the kitchen while yelling at yourself for being a failure. This adds an extra layer of depth to your dishes.

Example Recipe: "Steve's Inedible Chicken Cordon Bleu"

1. Take 1 chicken breast and shove it in the oven with some random spices.
2. Set the timer for exactly 17 minutes and 32 seconds, or until the chicken looks like a charcoal briquette.
3. Remove from oven and serve with a side of disappointment.