Membership Terms & Conditions - We Read the Fine Print... Literally

By joining our exclusive membership program, you agree to our ridiculously comprehensive set of rules.

Article 1: You Must Be Willing to Read the Entire Document

You must carefully read and agree to these Terms & Conditions, which we've lovingly crafted to ensure you understand the intricacies of our membership program.

Read Article 1 in full

Article 2: No Sharing Your Login Credentials with Your Sibling's Goldfish

We reserve the right to revoke your membership if you're found sharing your login credentials with your aquatic friend, Bubbles.

Read Article 2 in full

Article 3: No Using Membership for Evil Schemes

You agree not to use our membership program for any purpose other than what_goals we've clearly outlined in these Terms & Conditions (e.g., not for world domination).

Read Article 3 in full