John is a 30-something programmer who's been stuck in a turtleneck sweater since the 80s.
His love for Turt Prophets is only matched by his love for Turtcode.
He spends his days coding in his Underground Lair and sipping Overpriced Coffee.
John's love for Turt Prophets is a thing of beauty.
prophets are a rare species of turtlenecked programmer who can predict the exact number of bugs in every codebase.