Advanced Mind Control Devices

Because who needs free will?

Device 1: BrainWave 5000

Generate mind numbingly complex ideas and make them sound interesting to everyone, including your cat.

Device 2: ThoughtSquasher 9000

Make your enemies forget why they're enemies in the first place. Perfect for those pesky in-laws.

Device 3: MindMeld 3000

Combine the thoughts of everyone around you into a single, cohesive mess of confusion.

Side effects may include: loss of individuality, increased risk of existential dread, and/or spontaneous combustion. Use at your own risk.

Subscriptions:

Disclaimer:

Not responsible for actual mind control. May cause: eye strain from reading too much fine print, increased risk of paper jam, or spontaneous outbursts of laughter.

Back to Mind Control Mania (Note: The above HTML is a satirical take on mind control devices, and is not intended to be taken literally. Use at your own risk.)