APPENDIX: COOKIES

Warning: the cookies listed below may cause irreparable damage to your diet, your relationships, and your self-respect. Prolonged consumption may lead to:

• Cookies of Doom
• Uncontrollable cravings for sugar, salt, and despair
• Unstable relationships due to excessive snacking
• Loss of productivity due to constant cookie-related distractions
• Self-imposed exile to a remote, cookie-free location