Advanced Procrastination Techniques

Lesson 7: Social Pretentiousness

A crucial skill for any serious slacker, social pretentiousness is the art of appearing busy and important while doing absolutely nothing.

Key takeaways:

• Practice your "uh, yeah, I'm just on a deadline" face in the mirror.
• Learn to type furiously on an invisible keyboard.
• Frequently glance at a clock, muttering "only 5 more minutes" as you scroll through Twitter.

For more advanced training, proceed to Lesson 8: Defensive Optimism.

Or, if you're feeling particularly pretentious, visit Lesson 9: Overly Complex Procrastination Techniques.