CONTINGENCY PLANNING FOR THE APOCALYPSE

As a highly trained and highly prepared individual, you are now in a position to face the impending doom that is the apocalypse.

Here's a step-by-step guide to ensure you emerge from the rubble with your sanity intact:

Phase 1: Gather supplies. Duct tape, WD-40, and a decent bottle of scotch.
Phase 2: Find shelter. A bunker, a fallout shelter, or the most secure treehouse you can find.
Phase 3: Establish communication. A ham radio, a CB, or a tin can with a piece of tin foil.
Phase 4: Locate other survivors. Use your best 'I'm-not-a-monkey' impressions to signal your presence.
Phase 5: Rebuild society. Start with a makeshift government, a council of wise elders, or a benevolent dictator.