Welcome, esteemed members of Feline Protocol 3! This is a highly classified, not-at-all-boring guide on how to properly stalk your human.
Step 1: Observe your human's daily schedule. Learn their every move. Note when they leave the house and when they return.
Step 2: Infiltrate their social media accounts. (Don't worry, we won't judge your human's questionable taste in memes.)
Step 3: Develop a system of rewards and punishment. Because, let's be real, humans love a good reward system.
Step 4: Practice your laser-sharp hunting skills. Don't worry, it's all about precision and stealth.
Step 5: Infiltrate their bed. The ultimate prize in feline protocol: human snuggles.
Remember, with these steps, you'll be well on your way to becoming a true master of Feline Protocol 3.