Paranoid Subsistence Pack

This is the ultimate survival kit for the anxious, the paranoid, and the faint of heart.

Contains:

• 1x Can of "I'm Not a Morning Person" Spray Cheese
• 1x Emergency "I'm Lost" Kit
• 1x "I'm Being Watched" Binoculars
• 1x "I'm a Conspiracy Theorist" Journal
• 1x "I'm a Survivor" Water Bottle

Side effects may include:

• Excessive sweating
• Rapid heartbeat
• Exaggerated sense of urgency
• Uncontrollable urge to check the news

Track 1: Basic Survival | Track 3: Advanced Conspiracy Theory