< prophets of the 5-minute treatment protocol

Avoidance of Certain Death by Means of 5-Minute Time Warp

Upon entering the Time Warp Zone, a 5-minute treatment is administered to prevent certain... let's say, 'unpleasantnesses'.

Phase 1: Temporal DisplacementSide effects: mild disorientation, moderate confusion, and a strong urge to reorganize one's sock drawer.

prophets of the 5-minute treatment protocol

Prophetic Musings of the Treatment's Architect

Warning: the 5-minute treatment is not without its risks. Prolonged exposure may lead to... creative reordering of the space-time continuum.

Phase 2: Quantum Flux Capacitation or Phase 3: Temporal Resonance Tuning

But don't worry, it's just a _goals; we're not actually in charge here.