Meeting called to order at 12:00 PM sharp. Present were Chairman, Vice Chairman, and 3 other esteemed members.
Decision 2: The committee shall henceforth be known as the "Committee of Utter Incompetence" to reflect our sterling reputation.
Resolution 4: All members must now refer to the coffee machine as "The Suffering Machine" due to its consistent failure to produce a decent cup.
Action: The Chairman shall forthwith commission a new machine that actually works.
Action: All members shall attend an emergency meeting at 3:00 PM to discuss the Suffering Machine's existential crisis.
Adjournment Committee, The Suffering Machine, 1/5, Would Not Recommend.