Attendees: 12 esteemed members of the committee
Objective: Discuss stapler safety features
The meeting concluded that staplers are, in fact, the bane of modern society
Next meeting: scheduled for Meeting 790: Stapler-Induced Trauma
Meeting 788: Stapler History was a wild ride
Staplers are not just office supplies, they're the gateway to a world of chaos
Stapler safety features are a myth
Committee members were seen stapling their own fingers
Stapler Safety Myths are a real concern
Committee voted to abolish staplers from the office altogether
New stapler-free policies will be implemented
Committee members will be provided with therapy
Meeting 790: Stapler-Induced Trauma will be a thing of the past