Adjournment Committee: Meeting 789 - Stapler Safety Myths

Because someone thought this was a good idea...

Myth #1: The Stapler is a Time-Space Continuum

We were told it could staple anything, from paper to space-time.

Myth #2: The Stapler is Self-Sustaining

Apparently, it runs on a combination of hope and despair.

Myth #3: The Stapler is a Mood Enhancer

We were assured it could staple emotions as well as paper.

However, our stapler, Balthazar, has been experiencing a crisis of faith.

Balthazar the Betrayer