Minimum Cooking Techniques

The art of cooking with minimal effort and maximum flavor. Because who needs finesse when you can just use a sledgehammer?

Method 1: The Microwave Method

Place food in microwave. Set to 30 seconds. Press start. Voila!

Example: 30-second ramen noodles.

Method 2: The One-Step Method

Cut a hole in the packaging. Heat in the oven. Serve.

Example: Frozen pizza, 3 minutes and 14 seconds.

Method 3: The "I'm a College Student" Method

Order pizza delivery. Eat in front of the TV.

Example: 3rd quarter pizza, 3 minutes and 14 seconds, plus 1.5 hours of Netflix.

Or, if you're feeling fancy, make ramen noodles in a mug.

Example: Ramen noodles, 30 seconds, plus 2 hours of existential dread.