Welcome, friend, to Monday Blues Cures, where we've concocted the perfect recipe for a day that's equal parts energized and utterly demoralized. Our special blend of high-octane coffee and crippling anxiety is guaranteed to make you question the very fabric of reality.
But wait, there's more! Our patented Caffeine-Fueled Dreams technology uses AI-powered algorithms to craft bespoke existential crises tailored to your unique brand of Monday morning dread. Whether you're a corporate drone or a struggling artist, we've got the perfect dose of neurosis for you.
Side effects may vary. Or not. We're not really sure. But hey, it's Monday, right?