Monday Blues Cures: Extra Caffeine

It's Monday, and your brain is screaming for help. Well, we've got just the thing: Extra Caffeine!

Our special formula is a potent blend of 99% caffeine and 1% regret. Try it, and you'll be wondering how you ever managed to function without it.

But wait, there's more! As a bonus, you'll also receive a complimentary dose of existential dread and the certainty that you're probably just delaying your inevitable doom with our product.

Don't say we didn't warn you...

Want more? Click here for a special cure that's actually good for you.

Or, if you're feeling particularly masochistic, try our Extra Self-Loathing package, featuring a special blend of self-pity and self-disgust.

(Disclaimer: Not actually a real product, but hey, who needs actual help when you can have humor and absurdity?)