Monday Blues Cures
Because, let's face it, Mondays are the worst.
Proven Cures:
- Caffeine IV: Inject 1000mg of pure caffeine directly into your veins.
- Caffeine IV via Coffee IV Kit ($50,000)
- Dark Knight: Wear all black, everything will be fine.
- Dark Knight 2.0: Wear all black, and add a pair of sunglasses.
- Monday Mood Enhancer: Listen to elevator music on repeat, all day.
- Extreme Irony: Wear a bright yellow shirt, then immediately take it off.
- Monday Morning Madness: Wake up at 4am, start making a to-do list, then immediately forget what you wrote.
- Procrastination 101: Spend 2 hours playing video games, then claim you're just 'researching.'
- Procrastination 2.0: Watch 2 hours of cat videos, then claim you're 'researching feline behavior.'
- Blues Busters: Sing 'Don't Stop Believin'' by Journey on repeat, at the top of your lungs.
- Monday Morning Mantra: Repeat 'Today is going to be a new day' 100 times, until it sticks.
- Extreme Self-Care: Take a 10-minute power nap, then immediately check your phone.
- Monday Motivation: Read a motivational quote, then immediately forget it and check your phone.
- Coffee IV Kit 2.0: Upgrade to our new, improved Caffeine IV Kit, with built-in espresso machine!
- Monday Mindfulness: Spend 30 minutes staring at a wall, then declare yourself enlightened.
- Caffeine IV Kit 3.0: Our newest, most expensive, and most effective cure for Monday Blues!
- Extreme Irony 2.0: Wear a bright pink shirt, then immediately take it off.
- Procrastination 101 2.0: Watch 2 hours of cat videos, then declare yourself an expert on feline behavior.
- Blues Busters 2.0: Sing 'Don't Stop Believin'' by Journey, but replace 'believing' with 'procrastinating.'
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