**Phase 1, Preparation**

Welcome to the Monday Blues Recovery Plan: Phase 1, Preparation. This is not a real thing, but it sounds like it could be a good idea. In this phase, you'll be introduced to the basics of surviving the impending existential dread that is Monday morning.

First, you'll need to stock up on supplies: dark roast coffee, extra-sweet donuts, and a good pair of earplugs for when your roommate's alarm clock goes off at 4:45 AM.

You'll also need to establish a morning routine that includes:

• Hit snooze 5 times
• Check phone for 30 minutes
• Stare at cat for 10 minutes
• Repeat "I'm not a morning person" 5 times in front of the mirror

Once you've completed Phase 1, you'll be ready to move on to Phase 2, where you'll face the true horrors of actual productivity.

Proceed to Phase 2 if you dare.

Or, you know, just surrender now.