Monday Blues Recovery Plan: Phase 3 - Caffeine Injections
Warning: Do not attempt to administer these injections to yourself without proper medical supervision. Or, you know, if you're feeling suicidal.
Our team of highly trained professionals (HAHA) will guide you through the process of injecting pure, unadulterated caffeine into your veins. It's like IV therapy, but with more beakers and test tubes.
We'll provide a steady drip of caffeine, carefully calibrated to your body's unique needs. It's like a customized cocktail, but without the pretentious mixologists.
Side effects may include (but are not limited to): increased alertness, heightened awareness, and spontaneous combustion. Just kidding, that last one's just a rumor.
Don't have time for a consultation? Don't worry! Our Caffeine Injection App will guide you through the process, with real-time feedback and a 100% money-back guarantee (just kidding, there's no money-back guarantee, but you get a sticker).