Welcome to Monday Blues Therapy, Step 3: Accepting the Futility of Existence

Step 3: Accepting the futility of existence is crucial in this, the most pointless of days. It's time to acknowledge that no matter how hard you try, the universe is just gonna crush you like a bug.

Here's a few exercises to help you cope with this crushing realization:

• Repeat the phrase "I'm a insignificant speck of dust in an uncaring universe" 17 times daily.
• Write a strongly-worded letter to the cosmos, but let's face it, nobody will ever read it.
• Practice the ancient art of "existential dread-meditation," where you stare blankly into space, wondering why you're even bothering to exist in the first place.