MONDAY MANDATE MANUEL

chartInstance of Mandate Madness

The Official Guide to Not Failing at Work

Warning: the following manual is not intended to be taken seriously. Or is it?

Step 1: Wake up at 3 AM to check your email. Because, why not?

• Stare at your phone until your eyes hurt.
• Check Twitter. No, check Twitter again.
• Send emails to people who are probably sleeping.
• Wonder why nobody likes you.

Step 2: Arrive at work early. Not prophets, but early.

• Stomp your feet in the office to wake up the coffee machine.
• Turn on the lights to simulate the sun.
• Practice your "I'm not a morning person" face.
• Yell at anyone who talks to you before 9 AM.

And that's it! Follow these easy steps to guarantee a productive Monday.

Continue to Step 3: Pretend to Care About Your Job