Step 1: Acknowledge the crushing despair of another Monday morning. Recognize the inevitability of the existential dread that comes with it.
Step 2: Don the armor of productivity and pretend you're not secretly a sloth.
Step 3: Repeat the following mantra 5 times: "I am a functioning member of society, I am a functioning member of society, I am a functioning member of society, I am a functioning member of society, I am a functioning member of society."
For further instructions, proceed to Monday Mandate Somatic Musings