Mandate 1: The Injunction of Inefficiency

By the power vested in me, I hereby decree that all employees shall spend exactly 2 hours on Monday mornings browsing cat videos.

Article 1: Section 2, Subsection 3

All employees shall be required to view at least 5 cat videos per hour, with a minimum of 2 minutes per video.

Article 2: Section 1, Subsection 2

Any employee failing to comply shall be subject to a mandatory 1-hour meeting with the Prophet of Productivity to discuss their clearly inefficient ways.

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