Monday Mandates: Because You Clearly Need to Discuss the Weather

By order of the Supreme Monday Mandate, all employees are required to discuss the weather for exactly 30 minutes, every Monday.

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Forced listening to elevator music for an entire shift
• Being forced to wear plaid on Tuesdays
• Being assigned to the dreaded "Monday Morning Report" project